Curbside Delivery
Often the end of the day the hardest to keep track of. We wrap up the day, maybe go for a walk or a run. We talk about the day and how things went — kid’s school, work stress, simple plans for the summer like a drive to the beach, the countryside, or a camping trip.
Sometimes all we can think about is work. The highs and the lows. Did we do well today? Did we make enough to achieve our goals, support our family?
There’s not enough ink on the page to explain the birth and death we go through every time we cross over from day-work to night-parent-or-friend. Hundreds of times every year. Thousands more spread over a lifetime.
From early morning to night, we rise from our coffin-like state to fly like birds in the air only to be shot down by failure, exhaustion, the closing bell, or whatever timecard we use to clock out with.
We are not the sum of our fears and anxiety.
However, on days like today, it’s hard not to feel negative energy pulsing through our bodies like an electric communication telling every molecule how we did that day.
Why do we do this? Why do we measure our lives by performance?
Here’s one guy. He did great, for a while. Felt great, for a while. Top of the world, for a while.
Here’s one girl. She did awesome, for a minute. Really succeeded, for a minute. Felt like she was on the top of the world, for a minute.
It’s the quiet moment between the two pulsing worlds of day-work and night-parent-or-friend that matter most. What separates the two is the same space.
It’s a space filled with silence as much as it is a cold dark tremble.
What we tell ourselves while we are in that moment is increasingly important.
Are you a loser? Are you a winner? Are you somewhere in between?
My hunch is that you know yourself well enough to be a good-guesser but not so well that you can nail it spot on. I think you covet the story of your life too much to know which side is up and which is down.
Just because you feel like your on top of the world doesn’t mean you are. Just because you feel like a total waste of space doesn’t mean you are.
Let’s talk about trust for a minute. Do you know what trust is?
It’s putting your faith in someone or something else and relying on something else other than yourself to count on.
It’s taking the step to follow into a world of deep uncertainty. It’s talking a path that may not have an end in sight, with barely enough to go on other than your intuition and someone else’s shoddy foodprints in the mud.
Putting on your shoes and going to work means you are stepping out in trust that not only your job will be there but also the bus will be there on time to pick you up for a curbside delivery.
Cars running, lunches packed, jackets on — all these things matter in time and space.
“So what then?” you say, “Are you asking me to trust?”
Yes, I am. I am asking you to trust so many other things that you cannot feel, touch, taste, or see.
I am asking you to trust yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. Give it a shot.
I am asking you to trust a higher power. It doesn’t have to be god, just has to be outside yourself. Make it real; make it count. Go deep.
I am asking you to trust other people. Yes, you may have been hurt. There are better people out there. Grow in your ability to love other people and be loved in return.
Here’s what I am really asking. I am asking you to grow.
I want you to grow and become who you are meant to be. I want you to flourish in your being, relationships, and work.
I want to you trust as you breathe in deep in order to face the other side.
So now, in that moment between the day-work and night-commitments, calm your being. Bring yourself to a place of peace.
Make a wish, say a prayer, think of a plan to take that first step from dark to light, from anger to peace, from dead to alive, from wishful thinking to the life you’ve always wanted to live.
