Here I sit in the barn out at the back of the house, the second story, stress pouring over me like a waterfall. Will I make a sale? Will I make it through the day? I am foremost the one who has run away from everything I know — my calling, relational connection to others and myself. I am lost in a daily grind of perceived success base on orders received.
Maybe I am not as good as I thought I was.
When I step back and glance at a twenty thousand foot view of the world, I consider the ways in which this could all change in a heartbeat. I long for this change. I want it badly, like a daydream that never fades. Only my habits never change. I routinely follow a pattern like a railway car on a self laid track heading to the destination of my own choosing.
I am foremost saved by the grace of God. He found me when I was lost and called me by name into his glorious movement. Everything else is firecrackers on a cake.